Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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