Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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