Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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