I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize