You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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