She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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