Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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