I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I cut my penus on the lid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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