apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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