just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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