I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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