I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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