She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize