I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize