and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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