i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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