I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize