I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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