I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize