What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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