The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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