1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
