We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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