What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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