Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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