Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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