I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
honey bunches of taint.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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