kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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