He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
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If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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