I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize