RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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