I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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