I think I won the penis lottery.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
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Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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