so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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