apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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