I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Will exercising make me less horny?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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