I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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