My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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