So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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