So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize