is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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