I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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