I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize