You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize