Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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