Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize