the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize