Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize