Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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