My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize