It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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