I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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