normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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